Narcissists, for example, are often perceived as very attractive when you initially meet them due to them putting a lot of effort into their appearance and their charm. Other women simply didn’t know the person was terrible until it was too late. They see the mistreatment and pain as love. For others, they have been raised in toxic environments, so it’s all that they know. For some, these men are all they think they deserve.
Some do go for the dirtbags however, I believe it’s because they believe deep down that they’ll never be able to do better. This is a small percentage of all women - though I’m sure many men will disagree and say it’s more. Some indeed go for guys who they know will break their heart. Though I think more often than not, this statement is simply not true. I have had many friends come up and ask me why women go for bad guys. However, I am not every woman, so I decided to write a piece on the many reasons why certain men may be getting passed over.ġ. After all, these days, it is getting impossible to decipher the wolves from the sheep just from appearance. I am attracted to the look, but I like my men with gooey insides - I find kindness a turn on, and I do go for nice guys.
However, even though they may look like this, that doesn’t mean that I want them to be aggressive with me (maybe just in the bedroom). Though I love the feminine form, I find the appearance of hyper-masculinity incredibly sexy (my latest crush is Henry Cavill as Geralt in The Witcher). I’m talking big built, tattoos and piercings. With men, I tend to go for guys who look stereotypically “bad”. Though they did like confidence and assertiveness, other studies have even shown that characteristics such as warmth, basic decency and warmth can make us appear more attractive, regardless of gender. Another found that women prefer men who are confident, easy-going and sensitive, and very few preferred men who were aggressive or demanding. One found that women found altruistic men more attractive than those who didn’t mention such qualities.
Her correlation was debunked when many people (rightly) pointed out that badness is a lot more than drinking and smoking.Īlso, there have been many studies that have shown this claim to be untrue. In the article, she referred to a study which suggested that some men smoke and drink because this makes them more attractive short-term partners. It is about control, putting the man in charge of the interaction by pushing the woman to earn his approval.Ī few years ago, Diana Tourjee wrote a piece entitled Why Women Want To F**k Bad Boys, in which she claimed his concept of nice guys finishing last was scientifically verified. The idea is to undermine a woman’s confidence by making backhanded or snide remarks give a compliment with one hand, and take away with the other.
The idea is so embedded in the culture that there are movies and TV shows about it and most recently people are even profiting from via self-help books on teaching men a practice known as negging: To them, we may say we want the picket fence and family but what we want is the “bad boy” who will break our heart. Many men believe women don’t know what they want. I’m sure you’ve all heard the following statements “Nice guys finish last” or “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen”, though I’d argue that it is more like a firm belief.